I just finished watching the movie Half Nelson. With the sometimes minimal speaking and music, the visuals speak for themselves. A single tear. A half-hearted smile. Tired eyes full of emotion that just can't seem to be formed into words. If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend it. If I were creating the soundtrack, there are two specific songs I would have to include:
"Sympathize" by Amos Lee
In the movie, Ryan Gosling's character goes through his daily routine, only confiding in the one thing he has in abundance: drugs. As a teacher, he has such as strong influence on his students, but because he has such tunnel vision, it is almost as if he can't even see it. This song is almost like a story; an outsider's perspective of a individuals going through a rough patch. Like someone watching from the apartment window. They have no one to confide in, and the stress in their lives is just as visible as the color of their shirts. I guess we've all gone through moments in our lives where we feel like we are alone in a crowded room. Although Gosling has family and friends that truly care for him, he is so lost in his own world, he has completely lost touch with them. Such a situation is depressing enough, even if you aren't involved. All you can do sometimes is hope for the best for them. As the song says:
Angels spread the wings on all the dirty things that you do
"Talk to Strangers" by Saul Williams
Gosling's co-star, Shareeka Epps, is one of his students who has felt that influence of her teacher. After a school basketball game, she finds him curled up in the bathroom with a pipe in hand. I can't even imagine finding my teacher in such a state, especially at such a young age. The two of them form a very unlikely, and at moments I would say inappropriate, friendship. Both are going through their own personal issues and are dealing with them in different ways. In a way, they were both dealing with loneliness. This may sound extreme, but in terms of the movie, I believe his student saved his life. Not just in terms of the physical but also mental. These lyrics kind of sum up why this song relates. When you read lyrics, you are just like, damn. It is almost scary what you can learn from the people you randomly meet in life. Whether they turn out to be your best friends or your worst enemies, you can learn a life lesson from them.
Love can come in many forms In the hallways of your projects Or the fat girl in your dorm And when you finally take the time To see what they're about And perhaps you find them lonely Or their wisdom trips you out
Maybe you'll find the cycle's end You're back where you began But come this time around You'll have someone to hold your hand Who prays for you, who's there for you Who sends you love and light Exposes you to parts of you That you once tried to fight
Both of these songs are on my current, regular rotation.
Things are going alright here in Hot Springs. The current "situation" is being dealt with, and I feel like we are doing almost everything we can to create a more comfortable environment. For those who listened when I talked about things, thank you. Sometimes, I guess you have to just take things with a grain of salt. This weekend's concert (Gin Blossoms) was canceled due to the weather. A part of me was excited to see them perform, but I wasn't about to complain about leaving work early. We ended up having a fun, and interesting, night of barhopping and Waffle House. I think this will be a good week: we rotate work positions after this week, my brother is visiting this weekend, Gallery Walk is on Friday, and its 4th of July weekend.
As I sipped on a bloody mary at 11:00 am at Red Eyed Fly during SXSW this year, Ed Harcourt was one of the first artists of the day. Most often, when you walk into a bar during SXSW that early, no one knows who the first few performers are. Your are most likely in there because they have free booze. I was impressed by his performance (shoot, he used a telephone as a microphone), but sort of forgot about finding his music later on. Luckily, I noticed an ad for his newest album, The Beautiful Lie, on last.fm. He has a sort of raspy, yet endearing, voice. One of my favorite songs on the album is "Late Night Partner." Since music is my life, and this is a music blog, there are some lyrics that I can relate to:
Be my late night partner Oh pull me from the crowd With all of your old records We'll drink 'til we pass out Where are the moments that I feel so alive? I've lost everyone I need But music slays my heart and soul Every hour, day and week I'm on the edge of something beautiful. Music is that late night partner. Even when it seems you've lost everyone, music can always be there for you to comfort you, or lift your spirits, no matter what time it is. Hmm....maybe this is why I have listened to my iPod every night since I've been in Hot Springs. Its comforting to know that your favorite song isn't going to change tomorrow. It's going to last the same three minutes and eight seconds until the very last time you listen to it. Those three minutes and eight seconds can either make you laugh, dance, cry, etc. and will always be able to make you feel the way you want. Its not going to get up an change without notice. At least for me, that is the message I get from the song "Late Night Partner."
Unlike music, as Ludo so plainly states, "Milkshakes melt, people change." Different situations can cause you to see people in a different light, whether it be a positive one or a negative one. During times like these, it is most important to make an evaluation and adjust accordingly. You have to do what's in the best interest of everyone involved. In my mind, its better to have these experiences early on to learn from, rather than too late. As tough as things may seem for the time being, it will only make you a stronger person in the future.
Well I looked my demons in the eye Laid bare my chest said do your best destroy me See I've been to hell and back so many times I must admit you kinda bore me
Ray Lamontagne, for me, is one of those random finds that just sort of fell in my lap. Austin City Limits 2006. I was on my way to the main stage, but was pleasantly surprised at what I heard coming from another stage. One of the best gifts is discovering music that you makes you say to yourself, "How did I go so long without this??"
This song, Empty, is by far one of my favorites of his. Its just so fucking good and the lyrics can easily hit a soft spot. The verse above speaks more to me than any other. Everyone goes through moments where you feel like you are just on a downward spiral. Some know those moments all too well, I guess. Just when you feel like things are flowing as they should, a brick wall appears in the middle of the road. At times, its so hard to look at the positive when the negative just slaps you in face repeatedly. The hardest thing to do is not dwell on the negative.
Everyone deals with their demons in different ways. Some just spend time by themselves, some listen to depressing songs, some solve their problems with alcohol. Can't say I haven't chosen all of the above at some point in time. The most some can do is think further down the road. Your time will come when life just collides and everything just fits perfectly.
I'm obviously still on that roadtrip.
Right now, I'm just along for the ride and taking a ridiculous number of pictures. This summer is just a stop in some random town that is full of surprises. All I can do is keep my head up and imagine what is beyond that next turn in the highway. Not all is bad, but at this moment, I would compare things to a little food poisoning from that dirty Taco Bell in the middle of nowhere.
A tad frustrated with things/Starting to miss his friends back home/Having fun here and there, MH
P.S. - Recently, I just finished the book Perfect From Now On: How Indie Rock Saved My Life. It is a very interesting, and often comical, view of the author's (John Sellers) perspective on how music has shaped his life thus far. I recommend it, if you can get past his ungodly long footnotes. I just stopped reading them unless they seemed pretty short.
Memphis. The city where blues and barbecue are king. Living so close to unique places like this, I feel like its necessary to take advantage of the situation. Sometimes you just have to do things and ask questions later. It was a nice change from the Hot Springs life. Memphis has such a laid back, relaxed, down home, cultured feel to it. Driving into the city, crossing over the Mississippi River, getting a first look at the city from afar: awesome. As we drove along the river, we decided to park the car, enjoy the beautiful weather, and walk to Beale Street. The sounds of live blues, jazz, and funk music filled the air. I forgot how much I missed hearing local, live music. Funk-cover bands, dueling pianos, blues music rang from bars and clubs along the street, and I'm sure that is only a taste of what Memphis has to offer. Visiting cities where music has such an important influence is very comforting and refreshing, at least for me.
Something that was even more refreshing were the people I encountered. I have a huge respect for those who can live their lives so freely, and not feel obligated to be, well, anything they aren't. The musicians we saw and their fans were ridiculously carefree, and it was a Sunday night! At one of the bars where a jazzy funk band was shelling out some tunes, the fact that we didn't know anyone was not an issue. The way music can bring strangers together is amazing. That's just another reason why it is so important to me. Music has introduced me to some of the most important people in my life, and something like that can never be replaced. Its crazy how things like music can have such an effect on your life. It may start out as sort of a hobby, or just a minor interest, but it can grow into to something that changes your life forever.
I did meet some very "interesting" people as well. As I was dancing in some bar, this older (and probably intoxicated) woman kept dancing closer and closer to me, smiling. Yeah, no thank you. Then, this other woman with a "great personality" (if you know what I mean) told me to "get my ass back on the dance floor." She continued to talk about me with her friend and looked at me constantly. I did not want to get into awkward situation I couldn't get out of. I feel like that is the story of my life sometimes.
We also went to Graceland, home to the King of Rock and Roll. After almost four hours of touring the grounds, I think we got the full Elvis experience. I must say, I truly enjoyed myself. This was probably a once in a lifetime experience, and I loved it. Getting a firsthand look at the life of such an American legend cannot be duplicated.
Another cool place we visited was the Gibson guitar factory. I had a chance to mess around with a "robot guitar," meaning self-tuning. They are ridiculously cool, and only cost $3600. If you are thinking about buying me a present, that is a new option.
This past weekend was best I've had so far here in Arkansas:
The Starship concert went very smoothly
We had a ridiculous/crazy/fun night out on the town for a friend's birthday on Saturday. Gotta love a little slap the bag action every once in awhile. Plus, you know I just love drinking out of a paint can.
A roadtrip to Memphis.
I feel ready for another week of work because all I have to do is think about what I did in those three short days to put a smile on my face.
Once in a while, I come across some new music that I just can't stop listening to. This week, I stumbled upon Shearwater (Austin, TX). I would consider them a cross between The Cinematic Orchestra and Midlake. Their lyrics use nature as a storyteller, but because they are so abstract, they can almost mean anything. The intensity of each song varies throughout, ranging from simple vocals, violin, and soft piano to distorted guitars, drums, and horns. You could almost say they have a majestic, sometimes hauntingly beautiful, sound about them. Their new album, Rooks, was released not too long ago. Just the clarity of their sound can evoke all sorts of thoughts and imagery. I highly recommend this album to anyone.
Shearwater is one of those bands you want to listen to on a rainy day. Rainy days are an occasional experience here. Yesterday, as I stood several hundred feet above the ground at the top of an observation tower, it was amazing to see the rain and clouds slowly roll in over the mountains. I was worried that because it wasn't clear and sunny, my experience wouldn't be enjoyable. I was mistaken. Feeling so unsheltered from the elements was invigorating. Everyone needs to feel vulnerable at times. Living life in the safe zone is just that: too safe. The wind felt so strong that I almost felt like it was grabbing a hold of me.
Rainy days are some of my favorites. A chance to contemplate. reflect. relax. Something I've been thinking about even more is change. I know I've rambled on and on about it, but that's just what I'm going through at the moment. My life is going to be changing at such a rapid pace over the next year, I don't even know if I'll be able to keep up. Changes in people, decisions, choices, opportunities, life stepping stones, etc. I feel like when I'm return back from Hot Springs, my life will have gone through a whirlwind, as if I'm Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Some of the people who have had a huge impact on my life won't be a few steps or a 10 minute car trip away when I come back to Texas. They will be, or already are, off doing bigger and better things, and I'm ridiculously proud of them for it. I can't help but feel a little bit sad to see them go, but I know those bonds won't break that easily. The fact that I will have to start looking for a job scares the hell out of me. Right now, I'm working 8+ hours a day, and this is just a taste of what I have to look forward to after I graduate. At the same time, this change excites me. So many new experiences to go through: Chair of Town Hall, my last few college courses, new faces, searching for a job I enjoy, college graduation, hopefully traveling more, etc. I guess some things should be exciting and scary at the same time. It gives you a sense of adventure. Life is just one big ol' adventure.
I feel like I'm on the right track. I hope so anyway.
"First you don't, you don't succeed You've got to recreate your misery You all know art is hard Young artists have got to starve Try and fail and try again The comforts of repetition Keep churning out those hits Until it's all the same old shit"
Artist: Cursive Song: Art is Hard
Oh Cursive. Gotta love their way with words. If you've never listened to Cursive, well, you should. This song's message is so sarcastic, its pretty humorous. In terms of music, there are so many artists out there that make it apparent that "the real magic is gone." When they first nurtured their passion for making music, it actually had personal meaning to them. The feelings their own music and words evoked was real, not an act. Sadly, for many musicians, this doesn't last long, especially if it involves fame and fortune. How can you expect others to have the same feelings about your music, if you don't even truly feel it. For an amateur listener, this probably isn't as much of an issue, but for those who really know music, that isn't acceptable. Obviously, things change over time, but that visible passion shouldn't. A song that once made you burst into tears five years ago doesn't have to have the exact same effect now, but you shouldn't forget what got you to where you are. This concept can really apply anyone's passion: people, careers, art, music, writing, etc.
Last Friday, I went to the Gallery Walk here in Hot Springs and really enjoyed myself. On the first Friday of every month, all of the art galleries stay open late for patrons to view them. Plus, the free wine isn't so bad either. I even bought some artwork. Its an old metal staircase step with graffiti artwork on it from a historic building here. The artist was so appreciative that we really enjoyed her artwork and actually wanted to purchase something from her. Every piece had a story, which was awesome. I also bought some LPs including Barry White, Chubby Checker, and Boston. I definitely plan to purchase some more works over the summer (after I finally get paid). It is awesome that there is such a large art scene here. I guess that compensates for the lack of a local music scene.
Last night was our second concert of the season, Lonestar. I sang my little heart out when "Amazed" was performed. If you don't think you know that song, you probably do. It was played at probably every school dance you've ever been too. Even though we worked 18+ hours, the day went so much smoother than last week. The band and crew were much easier to work with, and NO one had a meltdown, which was also a nice change. There are still some kinks that will have to be worked out in the coming weeks, but I'm optimistic that they will be.
I'm learning more about myself everyday throughout this journey. Launching yourself into the unexpected teaches you more than you could ever expect. I'm going through all of this for me, and me alone. As much as I love doing things for the people I love and care about, I'm learning that doing what's best for yourself is most important sometimes. The point of this internship is for me to get to the place I want to be after I graduate: with a comfortable job in the music industry.
Side note, the park was ridiculously crowded, and I saw people wearing things they definitely shouldn't have been. For example, I saw the worst camel toe I have ever seen in my life. Gag me with a toothbrush please.
And you know I have to sway my leaves and branches slowly Out in the sun, like the silent shout of youth
And we ask why do we take these leaps and chances Because we have no choice but to wither into truth
These lyrics are from one of my favorite Voxtrot songs, Sway. The instrumental section of this song is just so beautiful and calming. I love songs that feature stringed instruments like cello.
Until yesterday, I had only seen the natural side of Arkansas through my car window. I finally got the chance to go out and really enjoy it. We went hiking up West Mountain, hoping to find some trails and lookout points. We definitely succeeded. This is only the tip of the iceberg. We hiked about four or five miles, and the heat and humidity didn't even seem to matter. It seems like everyday I find myself saying, "Wow, I'm really in Arkansas right now." And every time I say it, I'm pleasantly surprised how happy I am about it.
I got a taste of what to look forward to as I explore Hot Springs throughout the summer. Unlike Texas, its not everyday that I have a national park in my own backyard. I haven't been camping in a couple years, and this town reminded me why I enjoy it so much. It is so nice to just feel out of the loop for a few hours, not having to worry about anything else going on in my life at the moment. The simplicity of your surroundings can move you just as much as anything else can. That is one of the main reasons music is such a huge part of my life. It allows my mind to wander astray when it needs to.
So listen, I just finished my first full week of work. Let's just say, this is going to be a crazy intense summer.
During the week, we just prepared for the show on Saturday, which included publicity, cleaning out the entire amphitheater, picking up artist and their crew from the Little Rock airport, etc. etc.
Meeting some of the people around town was very interesting. Almost everyone had a story to tell. Funny story: A woman from a gift shop yelled out to Charlsy (a girl I work with) and me, "HEY! You two look like you smart and still in school. Gotta question.....how do ya spell, congratulations??" I'm almost in shock thinking, is this really happening? I proceed to spell it out, and she keeps questioning it. "Wait...did ya say D-O-N??" No, I said C-O-N. I continue to spell as she is typing at her computer, and she interrupts again yelling, "that don't look right!" We have to convince her that it is correct, and then she finally agrees. Charlsy and I were going around town giving out free tickets for Magic Springs and hanging up posters. The woman was like, whatchu selling over there?? Obviously nothing. We told her we were passing out free tickets and hanging up posters. I don't even finish speaking when she interrupts us with, "HELL, GIVE EM' UP!" Just imagine saying that line in the most country/redneck of ways. Its like the new "Get Er Done," and I think it is our new saying for the summer. She starts freaking out about the tickets, and said that she feels comfortable at the water park because everyone is fat like her.
Then Saturday came. The big day. Our first show of the summer featuring The Guess Who. The fun began at 7:00 am at the park because the sound production company was moving in all of their equipment around 8:00 am. The venue is basically empty until they arrive with all of the sound equipment and lighting. All of this doesn't move itself off the 18-wheeler of course. Soon after, our first taste of drama surfaced. The man in charge of the the sound needed an electrician, and of course, we had no idea he was going to need one. After about an hour and half, we finally had the electrician. The electrician talked to someone from The Guess Who crew, and do you want to know what they inquired about? A fucking outlet for their fucking RV. NOTHING to do with backline or sound. The electrician leaves, only for me to find out that the main issue at hand was not taken care of at all. Finally, the situation gets taken care, but not without a few meltdowns. But hey, in the end, it wasn't our fault really.
The next meltdown involved the band's merchandise. Leonard, the tour manager/jazz flute player, shrieked with anger at us when he found out we didn't have all of his packages. We searched through the warehouse multiple times, only finding four small packages. He wouldn't have it, and just didn't want to believe us. Finally, he calls the casino the mailed the merchandise. They apparently didn't mail the packages out until Thursday, so they will be arriving on June 3rd. Again, not our fault.
All-in-all, the day wasn't horrible. Drama is inherent with any concert, where large or small. In the end, as long as the band goes on at the schedule time, its all good in the neighborhood. Once Aundrea (my boss) came out and introduced the band, I felt more than relieved. Seeing the audience truly enjoy themselves and hearing the band perform is the most rewarding the part of the whole business. You have to look at the big picture to stay motivated in this industry.
After a 17 hour work day in the Arkansas humidity and sleeping for 12+ hours, I still feel like I could go back to sleep again. Thank God I have Mondays off.
P.S. - my wireless network is named Pussy Control. Gotta love it.
