First, read this article about a couple's reasoning for withholding their newborn's biological gender from friends and family. Here are my thoughts on the subject matter. I apologize now for the ranting.
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It's definitely a very interesting parental take on gender identity. I mean, we've all ready several stories about parents approving of their children playing into opposite genders (i.e. little boys wearing dresses but still identifying as male, etc.). Obviously, I fully support the acceptance and open arms of these parents. In my mind, the story behind this article just takes it to a whole new level. Remember the boy who wore the Daphne (Scooby Doo) costume to school (pictured above)? One of the most adorable photos I've ever seen. Nonetheless, everyone knows he's a boy, including himself. Yes, he and his mother received criticism, but do these parents of a "genderless" child think they will receive any less? I completely understand, and appreciate, where these parents are coming from in not wanting to announce the sex of their child. Gender restrictions are something out society makes far too definite and strict (especially Americans), but there will always be social norms to go from. An an open/liberal-minded parent, you want your kids to grow up in an environment where they can feel comfortable being whoever they want to be. At the same time, I'm wondering what effects this will have on the baby later down the road. How long are the going to attempt keep the baby's gender a secret? How is this secrecy affecting the other two young boys? How is this situation going to react when he/she realizes what his/her parents did? It really is an experiment and could go either way.
There is a fine line between structure and chaos. The lack of structure in raising their children is to allow for freedom of expression and I'm 100% supportive of creating that sort of environment, but I firmly believe a certain level of structure is vital to a child's development. Personally, I could never use this "unschooling" approach. In my mind, the purpose of homeschooling is to allow for children to not only learn at an accelerated rate, but also to be able to focus on certain interests more so than would happen in a public school setting. Structure isn't about suppressing a child's creativity, but to allow them to have a better base for making their own choices as the grow into singular individuals. I'm all about being free spirited and carefree and never blindly accepting your "place" in society, but there has to be some sort of standard to go from. I think they are too young to make decisions about their own upbringing, plain and simple, yet the parents want to deny the acknowledgement of biological gender? I don't know...a little extreme for me.
I agree with a quote from Dr. Ehrensaft in the article: "I believe that it puts restrictions on this particular baby so that in this culture this baby will be a singular person who is not given an opportunity to find their true gender self, based on what's inside them." Just because the baby is physically male or female doesn't have to determine the way he/she is brought up in the household. Babies, for the most part, don't really even know what's going on lol. Masculinity/femininity are basic attributes of life. Whether this child grows up to identify more with male or female, despite what they were biologically given, is still up for grabs. Still, I think this limits the child in having a choice as to which direction they will go. Everyone has to decide what part of the spectrum they are in. I think a lot of it plays into worrying too much about outside influences. As parents, you just have to put in the extra effort to create the kind of home environment YOU want. Peers, media, etc. are going to become more and more influential in future generations, and that is not going to change.
I have respect for the parents' decision not to announce the sex of their baby, but I feel like it's a waiting game to see how the situation plays out. No matter how you spin it, there will always be social norms that people are compared to. These norms are definitely expanding, but they will always exist. Completely disregarding them will not benefit any child in the long run. When it comes down to it, it's all about the children. I just worry about the possibly negative effects...especially when we live in a country that can be so harsh. As unacceptable as this harshness is, it's still a reality.
