This year's Super Bowl has come and gone, and there were more unwanted commotions revolving around this enormous sports event than anyone could have ever expected. Number one issue: the outrageous winter weather that has smothered the south for the past few weeks (and just won't seem to f*ck off). Texans are prepared for the possible annual snow fall or ice storm, but 2011 brought it to a new level. Watching the news, I half expected to see Jake Gyllenhaal sledding in the background like a scene from Day After Tomorrow. Ok, maybe the weather wasn't that extreme compared to the north's winter norm, but local meteorologists made it appear that way. Aerial views of the Cowboys Stadium showcased a town blanketed in snow, ice, and frigid winter gusts. Texans cannot be reamed too harshly though, purely for the fact that we aren't physically prepared these sort of storms. We don't have snow plows running up and down are streets everyday. I don't think snow plows even exist in Texas. After a few injured stadium employees, cancelled celebrity parties, pissed off local businesses, and annoyed DFW residents dealing with rolling blackouts, Super Bowl Sunday finally made it's way to the nation's television screen. Despite all the hubbub, Super Bowl XLV became the most watched television program history. I think some were just watching to see if anything worse could happen.
I'm not a huge fan of the NFL, or any professional sports for that matter. Well, that does not include soccer. Mmm....most attractive athletes. period. ANYway...I'm all about college football, but I decided to crack open a few beers and watch the Super Bowl. I was more interested in the commercials and musical numbers, which brings me to my main purpose for writing this. First, we'll talk about the clusterfuck that is Christina Aguilera and the national anthem.
Yes, she kind of fucked up the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner. Is this utterly embarrassing? Yes. Should those words be permanently ingrained in her bleach-blond head? Yes. Over a hundred million viewers watched Aguilera fumble. After an interesting year in the tabloids and celebrity news, this is definitely not what she needed for her career. Nonetheless, I will momentarily come to her defense. This just shows that she isn't a robot. Just like the saying "everyone poops", everyone screws up. Sometimes it happens in an empty room, and sometimes it happens in front of hundreds of millions of people. I'm not going to hold her at TOO much fault for the blunder. Shit happens; accept it and move on. Aguilera will be opening The Grammy's this coming Sunday in a tribute to the one and only, Aretha Franklin. Hopefully she will make up for what happened the previous Sunday.
Now, on to the half-time shit show performance. The moment I found out the Black Eyed Peas were the official Super Bowl performers, I was intrigued. Although I'm not really a fan of theirs, it was refreshing not to see a band whose glory days were in the 1960s or 1970s. The moment Fergie opened her mouth, I could feel my skin crawl with nausea. All I can say to her is: vocal coach. Her pitch was more spread out than a constellation in the night sky. Plus, her outfit was horrendous. I still ask myself this question, "What do the other two guys, outside of Will.i.am and Fergie, do for the group?": nothing. They exist solely to visually fill up the stage to compensate for the group's lack of musical talent. Luckily, Usher was able to lip-sync the half-time show into more of a success with his fine self.
The one commercial I was looking forward to hopefully seeing on national television did not even make it to air:
I was a bit shocked when I saw the new Groupon commercial. We had to rewind the DVR to make sure we weren't confused by what just happened. Nope, we weren't. Good job, Groupon. Next advertising campaign theme: despite the AIDS crisis in Africa, I just saved 50% on my meal at this Ethiopian restaurant.
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